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El Weekender

No 74

El Curandero Letters

Send your Sports or General Life questions for El Curandero to
Senor Curandero,

My problem is not my golf game; in fact, my friends tell me I should attend the P.G.A. Qualifier School
Senor Curandero my problem is my wife, she’s demanding I spend more time with her and the kids. I play (5) times a week 3 quick 9s & 2 18s. I also work 6 days a week_ she has no problem with work. Please help as divorce is not an option due to my strong religious beliefs.

Signed Great Golfer with Desperate Housewife Handicap

Dear G.G.

Hijo, many of my readers would love to have your problem _ great golf game, steady work, wife and kids, time for religion!  Ca Mas Quires, what else could you want?   This would not be a problem for a real hombre.   Ok, since you lack a big part what is needed for a round of golf “pay attention”, volunteer to prepare your wife’s bath water with special oils_ type does not matter as this is only a ruse. This is the important part, put in a pinch of red pepper,3 cereal flakes, a pinch of baking powder and last, a red watermelon seed. Now you must remember to give her a kiss before she baths and as soon as she gets out. Do this and see the Q school in your future? If not, you will have a lot of company with the rest of the Could Have Beans. Oh and one last thing, tell your wife and kids I said Hi!



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